Why Adoption?

Why do parents put their children up for adopt? Would love to hear people’s reasons why? My birth mom told me that she didn’t want to raise me in a bad home. Her father was an alcoholic. I’m not on speaking terms with her now, but when I spoke to her she said my birth father was a good guy. She told me his name and where I could find him. The only think I can’t understand is why she lied to him about me. She put me up threw a Catholic Agency in Mich. When I spoke to my birth father he told me that my birth mother said I was a boy with black hair. I found out at this time my birth mom lied to him big time. Being a girl with blonde hair, I can understand why my father never found me. My birth father and his sister searched for me for many years. I have only spoken too him once. He seamed like a very nice guy. Not really sure why the adoption agency didn’t tell my birth father anything, or even if he checked there.
The reason I put my son up for adoption because I was losing my hearing and being 18yrs. old. I new I couldn’t provide a good home for him. My parents where not young and I didn’t think it was fair for them to raise him. We have many family members that where adopted in my family. My parents adopted me and my brother.
I went threw a Catholic adoption agency. This is a long wait for parents to adopt. It could take up to 10 years of the agency watching them. When my son was born the hospital couldn’t release him to his parents because I wasn’t able to leave the hospital because my bladder quit working. I spent time in the hospital with him. I know I put a fear into his parents that I would change my mind. I knew I was doing the right thing for my son. He needed a good life and I couldn’t provide him one. I hope he will understand this. During my pregnancy I learned to read lips and sign language. About a month after he was born I almost lost full hearing. At the time of pregnancy, I didn’t know it could fix. I have weak eardrums and water was retained behind them cause the hear lost.
I also had another son born on May 26, 1989. I will go into why later.
Adoption is a great thing to help people become parents or parents who just want more children. But nobody really tells the birth mother what she will be going threw many years down the road. My birth mother told me that she didn’t have any more children because she felt guilty of putting me up for adoption. Not really sure if it is true or not. I know I felt a lost all these years. I do have three boys that would like to meet their brothers one day. I have never kept it a secret about my other boys to any one. I know it’s helped telling others, but the emptiness has never gone away. I would never want to find them and try to replace their parents. Just be a friend and know they are doing well would be ok with me.

Best of both Worlds of Adoption

My first world: I was adopted at birth, and was lucky to have great parents. When growing there where sometimes I really didn’t understand. Like going to the doctors and my parents not knowing anything about my family medical history. Another thing that really bugged me was not know my nationality. These are reason why I started my search on my birthparents. I was lucky. I wrote the adoption agency in Michigan when I turned 18 yrs. old. Around the time I turned 26 Michigan ran a news story about parents opening their files for children to find them. My birth mother opened her file and the agency called me. I spoke to my birth mom first. It took me a few years to get up the courage to call my birth father. I didn’t want to interfere in either of their lives just wanted to know my medical and nationality. They both where great about answering questions for me. I did receive a picture of my birth mother. May be someday, I will get to see my birthfather.
My second world: On September 8, 1985, I put my son up for adoption. I was 18 years old and my hearing was going. My parents and I thought it would be hard for me to raise a child with learning to deal with my hearing lost. I was able to bless another family with a son. I’m hoping he was raise in a good home like I was. Maybe one day he will search for me and I will be there to answer questions for him also.